I am heartbroken

our weekend was spend with friends & guests from singapore.
we had dinner at Dubai Marina at Inferno resto and thereafter we had sheesha till midnight. (photos will be upload soon).
On saturday was the longest day of my life. I woke up early because haqeem has a birthday party at 12:45pm at Magic Planet. Mall of the Emirates. As usual, we arrived 1hour later and we left haqeem at the party venue and brought the girls to play the rides. After that, we had lunch while waiting for haqeem to finish at 3pm. Hubby left me and the girls at MOE while he returned wan's car and took a taxi with haqeem to FORD service centre to collect our car.
There were so many sales that I dunno where to start or what to buy. The reason is simple. My mind is not here. I was and am thinking about my dad. The FIRST man i fell in love with. The FIRST man who taught me alot of things. He is everything to me. He pampered me alot. I spend my weekend with me to Holland village and we went shopping and eat prata at the mamak shop. He taught me to be street wise. He always know how to make me happy. He is everything to me and I am to him. I am a daddy's girl. I am HEARTBROKEN. I love my father so much that when i was young, we will fall sick after each other. I dare not think what will happen to me or what will i feel if he is gone. Hubby has warned me to be prepared for the worst and frankly, i hate it. I left singapore to be with my husband and I forgot that I made my dad heartbroken. I am sure he misses me but he is a man with few words and he believed a wife place is to be with the husband. My dad, he is a very forgiving person. Hardly angry but like to live life with joy & laughter.
I remembered when he got his CPF. He wanted to buy me WHATEVER i want. But I declined. I want nothing of it and even adviced him to save for rainy days. But being a dotting father, he spend ALL his money on his 6 childrens, son-inlaws and grandchiddren everyday for 2 years bringing them out to eat and shopping. I remembered they used to cling on to dad and go makan from dawn till dusk. I remembered my mum said that *bapak ko sedih ko taknak duit dier..* and I remembered replied *oklah if father nak kasi, just give me S$500.* I was 22years old then. I think till now, my sisters thought that father give me the most money.
ANd then, the year where my mum was busy studying for her Hajj courses. She was so happy that she a place to go hajj in 1995. THen, one day while sitting with him, i asked father, why dont u go with mother to Hajj since u hv the money now? Atleast you treated this as a holiday trip with both of you. NExt day, he told mother he wants to go. He has to rush studying but alhamdullilah he manaaged and in that year, I bid my parents goodbye as they boarded the plane to fulfill their dreams & responsibility as a muslim to do their Hajj.
When I broke off my engagement with my ex-bf of 10 years, he ddnt asked me why. And when i brought my then bf (now hubby), he just asked me, is this the one and r u sure he will make you happy?* ANd he give me his blessing and love my husband as his own..
looking back at the past, i realised that i was too self-absorb with my life that at one stage, i ignored his presence. I hated myself for it.
ANd today, i really missed him alot and felt like taking a flight home and give me a big hug and said to him that everything will be alright. That I am here to be with him.

Today was not the best day of my life. My heart is broken into so many pieces. :(