Shocked.

Yesterday, I had my first
taste of a failure as a mum.
A taste of dissappointment.
A taste of sadness.

Now I know how my mum felt
when I dissppoint her time
and time again when
I was a rebel Teenager.

I was utterly shocked,
sad and
speechless.
I cried of sadness when
I *beat* him up badly.
I know its not his fault.
I know he was influnced by his
friend.
But, still I have to teach him
right and wrong.
Good and bad.

I hope he learned his
lesson.
I know there will be more
dissappointment,
anger, sadness
in the future.
But, I pray to ALLAH
that it wont happen.
I know some things
are unavoidable.
Thats' life.

Maybe, I took this
too hard.
But, when come to my
childrens.
I want them to be
the most respectable
and likeable people.
I hope I have achieved that.

And yesterday incident
was a blimp.
Something that brought me
back to reality
that no matter how hard
or how protective
I am towards my childrens.
Certain things are beyond
our control.

NOBODY PERFECT, afterall.

InsyaAllah, ALLAH will
protect and give guidance to all my kids.

A path that will bring them to heaven.

LOL.

I am over-sensitive like that.


Peace.