FRIENDs

Before I starts to write this blog, I could like to say that it is not targeted to anyone, alive or dead, near or far, close or not close. hehe.  I am going to write about what i or majority has observed and my *lame* conversation with a friend over a cup of T. I hope no one will be offended if they read this. I am writing based on general issue.

F.R.I.E.N.D.s ...where are you when I needed you most??

I could say that my life is far different from anyone i knew. At 18 yrs old, I met & fall in love with a guy that I could do anything for him. yes. I am that Naive. I had a wonderful teenage years until i turned 18 on 23rd june, 1990. My relationship with him was intense. STRESSFUL. But, I kept holding on. Along the way, I drifted away from my friends. One by one..they vanished. And since then, I was alone, with him. But, somehow, I managed to hide my friendship with 1 or 2 girls from my high school throughout my adulthood. Over the years, we lost contact on & off again. Hence, I don't hv many friends or shall i said a bestfriend.

The best memory I had was when a friend came & stayed with me for many years. But somehow, after she left, so does our friendship. So, I am not good with having a *friend* but I envy those people who has friend from their childhood or friend that are there for them. Yes, I am jealous. So when I get close to a friend, I will be over protective..but everytime that friend will go away. Most of the time, I am angry with myself, for getting too close to someone. And everytime, the person will move on to another friend and then somehow, they turned their back to me. They talked bad things about me when they themselves had said the same thing abt the person that they are close with him/her now. Somehow, I am the Bad guy.

Sometimes, I wonder can I buy friendship with money?.  Because, when u have money, suddenly you become popular, friends come to look for you...but when u dont hv money or when u r in trouble, they just silently go away.  Or maybe I am wrong.

Issit because they know I am a great & kind person (ehem), n they feel like vomit whenever they arearound me. hehe.

Am I that a bad person that my everymove or words make people dislike me? Dont they know that I am a victim too? If I had known that along the road, I will have to face this..I will still be the girl who *flips the magazine and sit one corner n not talk to anyone* at the dinner table. Hurray!

Anyway, after so many years without a friend..I am still thankful that on my wedding day 2 wonderful souls from my High school came. And on my 1st day at work on 2002, I have found a friend. She has been with me throughout the years and although we are now in different continent, we tried to stay in touch. Miss you babe. From her, for the 1st time I got to feel the joy of having a gal friend with you. Someone you can talk/joke and be yourself. Someone who judge you but still love you. Someone who knows that you are talking nonsense & doesnt mean to hurt anyone. Someone who laff at your silly jokes. Someone who knows that I will be there if they needed me.

But ALLAH is GREAT. HE give me another chance. HE let me have another friend. My new friendship with someone who is as crazy as I am. She never judge me or run away from me the moment I told her my hardship. Who always tried to find time to meet up for lunch or just a cup of T. THAT is what I call a friend. And I am thankful for this one friend.

Anyway, I still hv friends who has been with me for many years throughout my stay in dubai. Those are friends that know you very well (hopefully). Though many has their own activity nowadays, I believed we still cherish our friendship and we know that If we ask for help, they will give their very best.

Finally, I believed everyone has their own *groupie* or friend that they are very close with. I know I hv mine. I know who they are and I know they regard me as their bestie too. To N, M and L..thank you for being a wonderful friend to me. I am very lucky to hv you guys as a friend.

cheers to friendship,